long nights, hard times

thisiskevinmerriam@ymail.com — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 05:41:23 GMT

When I finally don't wake up I just want to be understood.
I just want to have felt that peace when I run out of air.
If these words whipped from these lips has not pushed you away,
then I'll throw everything to you.

I'm not going to post in this journal anymore.

lots of things to look forward to

thisiskevinmerriam@ymail.com — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 17:38:18 GMT

Oct. 5th - Edge the Movie
Oct. 9th - Mountain Man and Hostage Calm
Oct. 10th - Swollen Eyes, Beartrap and Borderland
Oct. 11th - Owen
Oct. 12th - Salem for Columbus Day
Oct. 22nd - Borderland, Maker and Transit
Oct. 23rd - Tour.

thisiskevinmerriam@ymail.com — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 17:49:02 GMT

After I'm home from tour, I'm moving out. I need to get out of my house. I'm going to sell my car and get a one bedroom apartment somewhere in or around the city.

thisiskevinmerriam@ymail.com — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 17:27:07 GMT

thisiskevinmerriam@ymail.com — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 19:53:39 GMT

there is a void.

thisiskevinmerriam@ymail.com — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 03:31:22 GMT

I don't update this that much anymore and when I do it's pointless. I know I have stuff I want to talk about but I'm drawing a blank.

thisiskevinmerriam@ymail.com — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 03:34:30 GMT

I'm tired all the time. I want to move out.

thisiskevinmerriam@ymail.com — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 17:22:00 GMT

I'll be your friend in hell, until then I despise you and I probably always will.

thisiskevinmerriam@ymail.com — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 15:36:07 GMT

"I am a loser and so are you. At least I have no problem admitting something I already knew. And if you think your bullshit attitude is gonna stop me well, I've got news for you."

Fuck yourself<3

thisiskevinmerriam@ymail.com — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 14:33:23 GMT

"Fuck you.

You mean absolutely nothing to me. Nothing."

Couldn't have said it any differently Jarrod.

everyone is golden

thisiskevinmerriam@ymail.com — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 14:54:16 GMT

Yesterday was such a good day. Warped Tour for free. Set Your Goals with like 30 kids for free. Delicious Town Spa, not for free but still good.

Today if probably going to be real busy. I still have to burn cds and then we have to put them all together. I have to work 5-9 too. Tomorrow we leave for a few days and I could not be more excited.

holy shit

thisiskevinmerriam@ymail.com — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 01:29:05 GMT

thisiskevinmerriam@ymail.com — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 18:27:12 GMT

8======D

I wish you could see how fucking dumb you are.

three things are bothering me right now

thisiskevinmerriam@ymail.com — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 02:35:56 GMT

1. It's dumb when a girl who is somewhat more mature than most other girls her age, if not girls older than her, acts differently and feels the need to act like an idiot when she is with a certain person.

2. Why should anyone live their life depending on a certain substance? Not nescessarly drugs or alcohol, but mainly in this situation drugs and alcohol. I can't have faith in anyone that lives their life that way. How can you let yourself be controlled by something that is so insignificant?

3. My dad.

in a sweater poorly knit

thisiskevinmerriam@ymail.com — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 20:08:02 GMT

"you're a door-without-a-key, a field-without-a-fence
you made a holy fool of me and I've thanked you ever since.
if she comes circling back we'll end where we'd begun
like two pennies on the train track the train crushed into one
or if I'm a crown without a king, if I'm a broken open seed
if I come without a thing, then I come with all I need
no boat out in the blue, no place to rest your head,
the trap I set for you seems to have caught my leg instead"

this weekend

thisiskevinmerriam@ymail.com — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 03:29:31 GMT

Thursday June 11th - Energy, Debaser, Beartrap @ Rad Skatepark
Friday June 12th - Borderland @ East Bridgewater Commercial Club
Saturday June 13th - Algernon Cadwallader, A Great Big Pile Of Leaves, Debaser @ some place in Milford
Sunday June 14th - Borderland, The Wonder Years @ Romans

So awesome.

want

thisiskevinmerriam@ymail.com — Thu, 28 May 2009 23:54:11 GMT

I just want to cook for a girl. Then watch a movie and drive her home listening to Owen.

are you feeling happiness

thisiskevinmerriam@ymail.com — Mon, 25 May 2009 01:58:37 GMT

It was weird seeing you for that second tonight. I showed you that place. I brought you there the day everything went to shit, that was the last time we saw each other. I don't feel sad or upset about it either. I'm glad you walked out when you noticed me because I wasn't going anywhere. If that's your new boy I wish I could have followed and looked him in the eye and told him not to waste his time. I want to say I hope everything's good, but I can't.

thisiskevinmerriam@ymail.com — Mon, 18 May 2009 00:19:48 GMT

today was fun

thisiskevinmerriam@ymail.com — Sat, 02 May 2009 03:52:10 GMT

I had MaryLous for the first time today and it was really good. Borderland played at the Weymouth Teen Center and then got kicked out of the Weymouth Teen Center.

I haven't checked this in a while

thisiskevinmerriam@ymail.com — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 16:49:14 GMT

Apparently I'm a fucking jerk.

thisiskevinmerriam@ymail.com — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 18:51:04 GMT

It seems like whenever I go to write something in here I can never finish, or even write something remotely worth reading. Nothing is special in my life right now. Nothing is terrible though. I feel like I'm just walking on flat ground. No highs or lows. I'm not depressed and I don't hate my life, but I guess I'm not entirely happy with everything. I'm missing something.

thisiskevinmerriam@ymail.com — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 20:05:06 GMT

I feel like shit.

thisiskevinmerriam@ymail.com — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 15:00:58 GMT

I need a haircut.

midnight in america

thisiskevinmerriam@ymail.com — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 19:36:45 GMT

I feel like everyone is against me and I feel like no one takes me seriously, including some of my good friends.